i can't see myself.
this image isn't mine.
reflection of a ghost:
the apparition of my
hollow sanity.

when did i decide to
engender my own demise?
an infection i welcomed in;
a sickness of cognition,
the death of my discipline.

tell me my ethics,
the accumulated structure
my being laced together
is locked away from my steel
and that the key is obtainable.

show me my future
is a child of my idolized past
fallen not far from the tree
and no longer choking
by my self inflicted harm.

dare i hope to think
that it is possible to rise
from my fall from grace
and slip from strain
in my bowel of oppression.

might i one day overcome
the urge to mutilate my humanity
and to be seduced into
a state void of passion and purpose
by euphoric distortions.

out of the scars and oozing wounds
these contaminating thoughts
sprung of poison and raw pain
an anger breeds a forlorn heart
eager to die or finally breathe.

too long my eyes have bled abandoned
too long my head has bent in
violent gags and bitter tears
too long my heart held stubborn
thinking help is for the weak.

i can't see myself.
this image isn't mine.
yet you still noticed something
perhaps im still inside; i swear
to take your hand and try to live my life.
noel burk ©2006